Rape dreams

“Can you write a blog about dreaming of being raped?” asked Laurie, after she awoke from a shocking rape dream.

Laurie is a regular client, and since all dreams are unique and deeply personal, she knew there was more to interpreting a rape dream meaningfully than doing a quick Google hoping for a dream dictionary one-size-fits-all answer. If you find an article that says, “To dream of rape means …”, you’re on the wrong track.

But yes, Laurie, I can write a blog about being raped in a dream, and here it is. It’s for people who have not yet learned the art and science of interpreting their dreams, and for people who may not have the luxury of being able to book a dream consultation to deeply explore and understand a dream. I’m here to give some guidelines on how to approach and understand such a shocking dream.

Before we go into the possible symbolism of rape dreams, it’s important to acknowledge that people who have consciously experienced the trauma of rape, and who suffer ongoing PTSD as a result, may have recurring rape dreams. Their dreams may either be accurate replays of the original rape, or replays of some of the memories from the experience. Their dreaming mind is essentially trying and failing to resolve the trauma, and intervention is needed to help stop the recurring dreams and assist the dreamer in healing. PTSD dreams – common for war veterans – can be stopped by consciously changing the dream narrative while awake, retraining the mind to interrupt the stuck dream next time it begins and move it from repeat toward change and resolution. You can read more about this here.

Let me wave a big red flag before we go into the possible symbolism of rape dreams: if you’ve had a rape dream, and you have no recollection of being raped, it’s unlikely that you are accessing a lost memory, no matter how real or plausible the rape felt in the dream. Buried traumatic experiences are more likely to show up symbolically, rather than as literal replays.

Let’s also take a moment to acknowledge the catalogue of shocking dreams that most healthy people dream from time to time: murder, torture, violent death, explosive anger, to name just a few. I’m sure you can add one or two themes from your own repertoire if you regularly recall your dreams. Yet you know that these dreams are not literal memories or drives: you have not been tortured, but you may have felt tortured emotionally. So take a deep breath and remember that dreams are generally symbolic.

Let’s move on to some guidelines for understanding rape dreams.

Focus on the feeling you had in the dream (not the feeling you had after you woke up and thought about the dream). You might have felt powerless, helpless, forced, violated, worthless … or one or more of many other feelings. Take time to pinpoint exactly how you felt in your dream. If you felt violated, for example, where in your life, at the time of the dream, were you feeling or fearing being physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually violated? If you felt powerless in your dream to assert your boundaries, where in your life were you feeling or fearing powerless to assert your physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual boundaries?

The dream rape is a metaphor for a feeling or fear in waking life, but very much amplified.

Then consider the dream rapist from a symbolic point of view. What does this person or entity represent to you? What was their personality, or energy? For example, your dream rapist might have ‘not taken no for an answer’: where in your life at the time of your dream was someone not taking your ‘no’ for an answer, leaving you feeling perhaps overpowered or helpless?

The most courageous and insightful approach to interpreting a dream is to view everyone and everything in the dream as representing part of yourself (or a conscious or unconscious belief that you have). Taking this approach for a rape dream asks you to consider that there’s a part of yourself that is – for example – overpowering or violating your boundaries. Perhaps there’s a part of yourself that believes you shouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer, pushing you to an extreme to get what you want when this might be ultimately damaging for you.

These are tips, entry points for exploring a dream about rape. I hope they help to reassure you that these dreams are generally symbolic – dramatic metaphors for a waking life situation that you are experiencing. They also offer insight into your unconscious mindset and patterns of behaviour, and the opportunity to reprogram or change these using dream alchemy techniques.

 

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